The Dobermans are a Milwaukee-based project led by frontman Chris Doberman. Over the years, they have carved out a reputation for sharp, witty, and emotionally direct songwriting that blends punk grit with melodic indie sensibilities. What makes the project stand out is Chris’ DIY spirit, as he often builds the very instruments the band uses to record and perform. This approach gives every track an unmistakably raw and personal sound. With Nothing On The Internet, their seventh full-length album, The Dobermans take aim at modern digital culture with humor, satire, and an unflinching sense of honesty.
Track-by-Track Review
Under the Bus
The opener sets the tone with jagged guitars and a sense of frustration wrapped in a sneer. It paints a picture of someone navigating the superficiality of social scenes and fake connections, where loyalty is temporary and backstabbing is expected. The chorus, with its cutting repetition, makes you feel the sting of betrayal while also carrying a sardonic wink. It’s both cathartic and strangely fun, the kind of song that makes you smirk while you sing along.
Dead Eyed Smile
This song drips with tension, describing the emptiness of going through the motions while pretending everything is fine. The phrase “dead eyed smile” hits hard, making you see someone masking pain behind a façade. The guitars here are more evident, almost allowing the energy to emphasize the hollow feeling in the lyrics. It is sharp social commentary but also deeply human, because we all know what it’s like to fake it for the sake of getting by.
Bottle Boys
Short and punchy, this track doesn’t waste time. It critiques toxic patterns, generational cycles, and self-destructive habits with just a few biting lines. It calls out masculinity without meaning, asking what’s left when all you can do is run from your own mistakes. There’s no wasted word here. It’s confrontational and unapologetic, the kind of track that sticks because of its brevity.
Just Like John Galt
A clever satire that pokes at capitalism and idol worship. The lyrics reference rocket ships, internet satellites, and the endless push to monetize everything. There’s humor here, but also a biting truth about how our society lionizes people who sell dreams. Musically, it feels brighter and catchier than you’d expect for such a heavy subject, which makes the irony land even harder. It is smart, witty, and one of the standout tracks.
Striking Pad
This one slows down and leans into imagery that feels cinematic. A match lighting, smoke rising, the quiet moments when emotions burn hotter than words. It’s intimate and reflective, almost like you are watching someone process loss or longing in real time. The restrained delivery makes the song feel haunting. It lingers, like the smell of smoke long after the flame has gone out.
NPC LOVE
One of the most playful songs on the record, but also unexpectedly heartfelt. The video game references are funny and light, yet the emotion behind them is genuine. It is a clever way to explore relationships and the expectations we put on one another. The track blurs the line between fantasy and reality in a way that makes you smile, but it also sneaks in a quiet sadness. The result is both quirky and touching.
Always On
Here, the tone shifts toward encouragement. It is a song about grit, about staying true to yourself when the world seems too loud. The lyrics speak directly to dreamers who refuse to give up, even when it feels impossible. There’s a warmth to the performance, a reminder that resilience is worth celebrating. The chorus feels uplifting, almost like a hand on your shoulder telling you to keep going.
Last Dance
This track captures the bittersweet quiet at the end of a night. You can almost see the empty dance floor, hear the faint echo of the last song. It is reflective and tender, short but impactful. The brevity works here, leaving you with that lingering sense of an ending you didn’t want to come just yet.
I’m Ignoring You!
A blast of energy and attitude. This is the moment on the record where exhaustion flips into defiance. Instead of quietly walking away, the narrator announces their boundaries loud and clear. The repetition in the hook makes it stick in your head, and the raw energy feels like a release of pent-up frustration. It is bold, brash, and strangely empowering.
Nothing On The Internet
The centerpiece of the album. This is where The Dobermans fully confront the endless noise of online life. The lyrics scroll through the emptiness of feeds, shallow trends, scams, and endless self-promotion. It feels weary but not hopeless, more like an observation from someone who has stared at a glowing screen too long and finally decided to log off. Musically, it is steady and deliberate, giving space for the lyrics to carry the weight of the message. It’s the kind of song you nod along to because you feel seen.
Metamathematics
This one is quirky and a little puzzling, much like its title. It plays with ideas and concepts, tossing out fragments that feel abstract but purposeful. The instrumentation is playful, almost teasing, as if the song itself is in on the joke. It might be one of the most cryptic tracks, but that is what makes it intriguing. It challenges you to lean in and make sense of it on your terms.
Lazertag
The album closes with a rush of color and motion. “Lazertag” feels nostalgic, almost childlike, filled with energy and flashing images. It is the perfect closer because it lifts you out of the heavier themes and leaves you with a sense of fun. There is warmth in the delivery, a reminder that beyond the noise of the internet, there are real-life moments filled with light and laughter. It ends the record on a hopeful note.
Final Thoughts
Nothing On The Internet is witty, raw, and deeply relevant. The Dobermans use humor and sarcasm to slice through the noise of modern culture, but beneath that sharpness is a real sense of humanity. The songs are catchy without being predictable, smart without being pretentious, and vulnerable without losing their edge. It is an album that reflects the times we live in while reminding us not to get lost in the endless scroll.
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